opposite of two-lonely me and lonely you

Paradoxical Heaven

2010-12-07T02:32:00.000-08:00

This time leaving you was different, something has happened which my current state of my mind is unable to comprehend. There is a void which has been created however its existence comes to life in very rare painful occasions. The increase in level of detachment and the diffusion of memories and forgetting is making my mind a paradoxical heaven.

For Immediate Release

2009-12-09T04:24:00.000-08:00

The most anticipated moments of human civilization is here
The empanelment of our Dear God with the one and only savior of our Lucifer

Earth 2009: World most powerful enterprise “God” is thrilled to announce a joint venture with Lucifer the most sinful conglomerate of the world in the rapidly growing human civilization to unveil all possible to discover all the secrets of the annihilation of the world. This new co venture will engross different strategy to smoothen the process of extinction of the world and most importantly it will focus on rectifying the mistake they made by creating the most unnatural thing in this world – Human.

This strategic involvement will focus on providing cutting edge painful methods to the cautious spectators and will deliberately concentrate on constant experimentation to come up with new faces of PAIN. God will bring in his significant expertise in getting people together where on the other hand Lucifer will be mesmerizing people with his most sinful temptations and leading them to the place called Hell in literal sense.

Speaking on the Occasion GOD said ” We at heaven are extremely excited on this association with Lucifer and are sure it’s going to be a brilliant viewing experience to all the living creatures in this world, heaven and Hell. Lucifer is exceptionally talented slayer and I am sure he is going to hit the bull’s eye and every part of human body and civilization with our association. When a know all (GOD) and a critically acclaimed slayer come together --- one can only expect betray.”

God and Lucifer have shared a long and an indispensable relationship but due to professional constraints the two giants are locking there horns. Both of them have been a part of this Universe from day one however for the first time they are coming together professionally for one only cause ---- cutting every edge.

Commenting on this development Lucifer CEO HELL” It’s indeed a noble gesture of GOD to partner us in such an exciting venture. At hell we believe in bringing in extreme pain and sorrows to the world and I am proud to inform we have kept it to our reputation. All I can promise is that now all the hell will break loose and everything human can expect from this is helter skelter around in and around them.”
........................................................................................................................................................................

For Further Details please contact your GOD or Lucifer

Tragedy

2009-07-30T22:29:00.000-07:00

“That I may not tell you;
And what you ask
You may never know.”

Yesterday I heard this, would you believe it? I am searching for a topic which is not merely pure but which should be eternal. Nothing has preoccupied me more profoundly than the problem of decadence. I had reasons which I share with only myself. I have developed a keen eye for the symptoms of decline and I give equal assurance that this is not only nihilistically magnificent but it also aims to bring me the contemplation of tragedy.
As for the intricate relationship of misery and me, nothing can be explained while everything may be confused. One pays heavily for being one of “G**” disciple. I have been exposed to his infection for a long time. In the beginning its effect is relatively innocent, while the power of deceitfulness slowly merges in.

My writing is open to a misunderstanding however I promise you, on certain faces the line of gratitude will definitely appear.

Übermensch

2009-06-19T05:40:00.000-07:00

I have never allowed him to win; at present every kind of emotions stands with sad and discouraged expression—IF, indeed, it stands at all! The double personality is showcasing the exuberant power of madness however to speak seriously, there are times when good grounds fails hoping that madness will not empower itself with the carnal instinct of mine. The combination of active and passive nihilism is giving impetus to my extinguishing soul. The Übermensch in me has again understood WHAT has actually sufficed for the basis of such imposing and absolute philosophical edifices laid by Nietzsche. I don’t know there is something so psychedelic and enigmatic in him that pulls me towards him. Its been few days he is back into my head, I have taken the weapon(music) of my choice for my nihiilism, active or passive that I am not able to decide but yes nihilism in no doubt. I in this façade what we called life is always been a pendulum which is being altering itself between the good and the bad infact the value of my life lies in this and let me not be grateful to it. Although I must confess I am grateful to one more being (Mermaid) in this world, who have triggered me and always been helpful to make my unregretful decisions of life. She had always let the pure spirit in me alive. The will to truth is always been a perception to me as truth itself originate from its opposite and I had always believed I originate from the opposite. The fundamental conditions of life have overall a different perspective and the very perspective stands tall for the inversion of truth and the denial of life. This produces a magnificent tension to the soul and Nietzsche spoke

"I teach you the overman. Man is something that shall be overcome. What have you done to overcome him? All beings so far have created something beyond themselves; and do you want to be the ebb of this great flood and even go back to the beasts rather than overcome man? What is the ape to man?
A laughingstock or a painful embarrassment. And man shall be just that for the overman: a laughingstock or a painful embarrassment..."

Nietzsche Thus spoke Zarathustra

And good Nietzsche spoke

Rebel

2009-05-10T22:31:00.000-07:00

I say thank you to myself, to my Rebel not to live in an inconceivable façade. Beyond imagination, that is the countenance of God. Thanks to the rebel inside me for not letting the despair breached inside, thanks for the inquisitiveness that never comprehend. What human minds cannot contain. To look upon God’s glory would drive a mortal man insane. Its only human arrogance, which would lead a person to believe and try to put a face which even prophet cannot perceive. Just wanted to let you know how special inside you make me feel. You are always there when fearfully I attempt to flee, you are always there I am only me. When I slumber you did not close your eyes, you are my fanciful illusion a soul that lived beyond the sleep, you are the musician with the melody of his scars. Your song is heard on mountains high, by angels, fallen from the sky. I didn't have to wonder long, before I was drawn toward a light.The brightest light I'd ever seen. It was a strangely familiar sight. I see you my rebel, alone you greet eternity. Into the emptiness you fade, where we will share the destiny. Of all of ours fellow renegades

Thank You Rebel

To Misery....My Love

2008-11-15T02:11:00.001-08:00

I Casually made acquaintance with misery.

I found it impossible to comprehend it either morally or philosophically.

It has just remained as a profound meloncholy.

In the moments of exictement the life grews bright to a degree almost inconceivable.

These pecularities of life has only caused me much annoyance.

Life has continually applauding on his half explanatory strain,

which when I first heard it,impressed me very painfully.

I soon however grew accustomed to it and my uneasiness slowly become pleasure for me.

It seemed to be it is design rather to insinuate than directlyto assert that.

My imagination is singularly vigorous and creative.

Nowdays my life seems to me like a forsaken world , empty and bare.

All belief which adds poetry to my life is now disappearing.

The Night

2008-08-15T00:36:00.000-07:00

I am passionately fond of the night. I love it, in the same way that men love their country or their mistress. I love it with everyone of my senses. In nights I feel myself in the depths of my innermost being , in those depths where we hide the painful secrets , the shameful secrets. I am going to tell you about it , exactly what happenes , without attempting to explain , I can't explain it , unless I happened to be mad. So often one come across people for whom the destruction of life is a physical pleasure. Create and destroy !! These two words sum up the history of every universe. The desire to create and the urge to destroy , intoxicate me like wine . The night noticed this , looked at me , then rushed up and flungs her arms around me and takes me to the state of ecstasy.

I am the forgotten One

2008-04-03T11:36:00.000-07:00

I am the forgotten one

the guy who went missing

the one no one came looking for....

Dear Diary,
Sitting now I wonder

wonder why no one cared

cared enough to see the sadness

sadness scarring my eyes

eyes reflecting horror

horror from a past

past forgotten

forgotten....just like me.

I couldn't forget...though, I tried

tried so very hard to move

move on with my life

life filled with friends

friends false..false like my smiles

smiles masking pain

pain. Love missing

missing....just like me.

I could no longer bare

bare the loneliness

loneliness within. Soul empty

empty grey days

days filled with sad memories

memories from a past

past best forgotten

forgotten....just like me.

To seek and found a reason to be,

to hunt like a hound, your destiny to see.

My only love, once found, now lost,

for my cowardice, that was the cost.

Inside my heart, to pieces, I am shattered,

all those pieces, in darkness, now scattered.

To seek end in the dark,

it is my destiny,

to weep alone in the dark,

it is my destiny,

to die all alone without your love,

it is my destiny.

You win

2008-02-20T19:21:00.000-08:00

so you win today,
its not because i lost it
its because you are not worth fighting
I gave up..........
No more fighting with you....and see today i got my dead serpent....

ENJOY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I bit into his neck, letting the hot blood drain out into my mouth...When I pulled away I heard a sob..And I realized it was me...I had just killed the one I loved me the most... Then...I killed myself..."

Revenge

2008-02-19T18:35:00.001-08:00

Tie the noose around the neck

Let'em hang and wait for the snap

Evil lurks amongst the trees

As the men hang in threes

Never hiding in shadow to make the kill

Because life is so much more fun to steal

When no one's expecting you to strike

And there's no warnings when its light

They all think their safe but thats a gag

Let'em find out when I take the first stab

Your bleeding wounds I will kiss

To taste your blood against my lips

I have a lust for your death

Stronger than an addiction to crystal meth

All those years of suffering and pain

And finally I have revenge to gain

Does it feel good now to be in torture

Why aren't you begging that you want more

Come on now thats not they way it works

If you don't agree now I can make this worse

Remember taking pleasure in hurting me

Now its my turn to see

How fun it is to mess with your emotions

And to beat you down till you're motionless

You're swearing at me with all your might

Could that mean you're actually in fright

I guess you don't understand the situation you're in

I am the devil destroying you for your sin

Maybe I'm not that powerful but I can try

Won't matter to me as long as you die

Your end I will make slow and miserable

For everything you've done that was terrible

Don't mind my smile baby but you're all mine

Fear the click of my knife for now its time

To cut out your heart and eat you alive

In the crimson morning so fine .................................

LOVE LETTER

2008-02-19T17:14:00.000-08:00

Your love is profound , i cant help but want you. your voice is so harsh and you yell at me for not giving you everything you ever wanted but this is not the way you are supposed to be , you give me sweet kisses and love laying next to me but you are killing me softly with every stab and useing my blood to write love letters to me , i just dont understand but i never asked you , you took my blood and rubbed it all over the back of the letter then let it dry and write in black ink over it , you write love letters and poems saying how much you care and respect me , and i wonder what is going through your head

My Grave

2008-02-17T20:10:00.000-08:00

cradle me in your arms
as they lay me to rest in grave
I've chosen to be mine.

I'll make it beautiful
so you can join me
in my dreams of death.

Be mine forever and we will live
on the comfort of the grave
I've chosen to be mine..........

I am afraid

2008-02-01T20:18:00.000-08:00

my dear god,

you cannot understand it.

By any possible means you say and

I perfectly belive you.

you think i am going insane ?

It may be so but not for the reasons which you suppose.

Oh! you dont understand me..

I am afraid.

it seems like my fear is a result of

masturbation of long and thoughtful planning.

I am afraid of myself ,

afraid of that horrible sensation

of comprehensible fear

above all I am afraid of my own

dreadful thoughts of of my reason,

which seems as if it were to about to leave me

driven away by a mysterious & invincible agony

I am frightened merely beacause

I cannot understand my own terror.

If I speak I am afraid of my own voice.

I close my eyes in despair and

remain thus for indefinite time

Sticky Chains

2008-01-28T22:03:00.000-08:00

Sticky Chains ,

The place I fear the most
is distant and unessential,
But this seed of fear haven't been
fed today, and slowly my cries
are melting away when
doors open to shut.

Sticky Chains,

I discover that my hands
smell like iron today,
As wet compassion
lingers on these chains,

Sticky Chains,

I've never been caught in your chains,
they are sticky and they secrete envy
So dont dig spiderwebs in my dreams
my silence has grown, and left is screams

Running Insane

2008-01-22T15:51:00.000-08:00

Broken heart grievously weep in pouring rain
Drowning peaceful soul inside puddles of pain
Keep thinking of you and those good old days
Miss your existence in so many different ways

Oceans of tears flowing from my weary eyes
Agitated life floating between high rised tides
Loss of love turning my inner views fully blind
Hopeless ideas overshadow intoxicated mind

Forces of rage rotating around your head
Flowers of joy soon will be wilting to death
Clusters of blossoms losing delicate petals
Weakened heart breaking in to fragments

Venomous thorns hurt as cute kissable roses bloom
Poisoned feeble life drifting toward a darkest doom
Soul of scornfulness often seething in extreme pain
Tranquility disappears as the thoughts running insane...

2008-01-22T15:36:00.000-08:00

Whenever I cried, it was in your arms

You held me so close, away from all harm

Your soft warm skin, always against mine

Our hearts, always beating at the same time

You watched over me, like a guardian angel

You kept me safe, under your protecting spell

Whenever in darkness, you gave me light

And whenever hurt, into you I fell

But all that has left me, no longer, no more

Your something I don't know, you've left me so sore

I'm all alone now, in my minds darkest place

Blood stained skin, tear stained face

But I know what I must do, to heal this broken soul

I need to strengthen my weak heart, turn it ice cold

Hide all my feelings, disguise these falling tears

Become empty inside, let no one near

Bring up the barriers, walls around my hear to

Make them stronger than before, so they wont fall apart

Bleed out all the poison, let darkness draw me in

Let it take over me, make the light go dim

Hide behind the shadows, the only things that help

And slowly once again, fall back into myself

2007-12-23T03:24:00.000-08:00

You will never understand the nature of my arrogant misanthropy
These enigmatic eyes from the skeleton smile of prudent vanity
I am content in his sanctuary of my complacent shadow
So take this aesthetic reality and throw the world out the windows

I tried desperately to restrain my corrupted perfidy
To prove I’m not just another silence face of absurdity
This smile I call upon to feed my burning abyss of emptiness
Provoke the secrecy of my tormenting credence

I grasped blindly at the pain of my self-indulged paradox
Causing my ardent memories of significance to be lost
These eerie delusions that taint my shallow mind to autopsy
Slowly dissipating the the subconscious of our fallacy

My weakened patience succumbed to myself destructing anger
Allowing the beauty of profanity to flatter
I breathed in the static hereby of twilight
To fall asleep in the blissful ache of my lullaby

Place the blame on my moral deterioration
To satisfy the pride of my placate aberration
I wonder in my deceptive labyrinth blind and broken
Keeping secret of this solitary bare

My Decadent

God vs lucifer

2007-11-22T06:30:00.000-08:00

What is god
For me he is very odd
,People worship him,he likes to get praise
He lives in the city of magic
Which fly on lonely clouds
xAnd we call it heaven.

He love when we say his name
He like his fame,
What you want from me
Wanted me to be tame
No, It wont happen,I am better dead.

Here comes the cute demon
You called him "Lucifer",
But he is the one I prefer
He is the person who rang the bell in hell

He is the one who walks in the night
Just waiting for the moment that will be right,
Teeth sharp and yellow,eyes glowing red
This is not the monster found under your bed.

He is fighting with god,plotting you know
And someday he will take away his soul
,He feeds on our fear,drinks in our tears
There will be a day
When he will be the only thing we hear

Pain,rage and anger invites him
Death and corpse gives him control
Soon dark and dead will be your soul

You ask what is he and who he wants
He is every memory of god that will haunt,
Those broken,scared,alone and bruised
He's the unheard voice of all those abused.

Its you who let god to rule
That all I can see,
He is the one who fills the world
With his incurable disease.

Writer

2007-11-15T14:57:00.000-08:00

Pieces of my soul
,Scattered on this sheet,
Moments where I faltered,
I felt incomplete.

Sometimes I wrote in happiness,
But pain, it flowed with ease,
No depths I could not reach,
When writing on my knees.

In days of old I'd run to write,
Expel the hurt I had,
Turn it into something more,
Writing out the bad.

It could be raw and very dark,
Fear was often there,
Tears running, minds were racing,
Blooms of deep despair.

Youth went by, life did change,
Love had found its way,
Breaking through this wall I built,
Hiding every day.

I came to find the words inside,
To express each facet of being,
My passion became something more,
Than something that was freeing.

It became me, held back nothing,
Emotions free to flow,
It helped me understand the things,
I never did quite know.

It helped me find a voice to speak,
Reach those held in wanting,
Voice my spirit to my peers,
In a way that was not daunting.

Now I sit and write today,
For nothing more than joy,
This call I hear deep inside,
That nothing can destroy

For even if you read my words,
And find nothing that you need,
I bared my soul and all I hold,
For more than you to read.

Together

2007-11-14T13:46:00.000-08:00

When it comes to relationships, tragedies, or just a simple day.

I always wonder who's behind it so it ends that way.

Is it me or something else that gets to pick and choose?

Or is already written in stone whether I win or lose?

Some say fate is that one force which gets to decide.

Others say it is yourself in which you must confide.

Combination of the two is truly what I believe.

Because in the end it always takes two to conceive.

So don't you go and put all your pennies in one jar.

Because if you do then you truly cannot go far.

Bring them both together and trust them entirely.

It is always both together believe and you will see

strength

2007-10-10T06:41:00.000-07:00

Strength is recognizing that you need help

And asking for it

Strength is when no matter how hopeless the battle looks

You will never forfeit

Strength is letting down your guard

And taking a chance

Strength is asking the one person you secretly admire

To just one dance

Strength is going on

Even when you don't have the will

Strength is going to the extreme

Not just for the thrill

Strength is doing what's right

No matter what it will cost

Strength is asking for help

When you are completely and utterly lost

Strength is letting people get close

And giving them the ability to hurt you

Strength is not just saying what people want to hear

But saying what is true

Strength is never giving up

No matter how hopeless things seem

Strength is making reality out of

Your every hope and dream

Strength is being able to let go

And finally say goodbye

Strength is recognizing

That it's always okay to cry

Strength is being able to laugh

In the face of fear

Strength is going down the path you're on

No matter how drear

Strength is recognizing

When you need to let the one you love go

Strength is letting

Your true feelings show

Strength is being able to move on

And learn from your mistakes

Strength is being true to yourself

Even when everyone else are fakes

Strength is finally letting

The one that you love know

Strength is recognizing your mistakes

And using them to grow

Strength is scaling every mountain

No matter how high

Strength is freeing your soul

And letting your spirit fly

Strength is the ability to forgive

No matter what the crime

Strength is forgiving and forgetting

All of the time

Strength is in not following the crowd

But embarking on your own

Strength is knowing that you're never perfect

But merely partly grown

Strength is never giving up

Even when all odds are against you

Strength is always finding the time

To do what you've got to do

Strength is sticking up for

The person everyone picks on

Strength is always looking at the pro

And never at the con

Strength is knowing who you are

And who you want to beS

trength is found in everyone

In you . . . in her . . . in me.

2007-09-30T23:30:00.000-07:00

If you wake up one morning

and they tell you I'm dead

don't look around in shock

you knew i was fcked in the head

if they tell you

i cut to deep this time

don't wonder how i could

it's not a crime

if they Tell you

my blood stained the floor

don't lock yourself up

slamming the door

if mum breaks down

if she starts to cry

don't join in her sadness

it was my choice to die

if mum tells you she love's me

and if you say it too

think before you do

now that my life is through

if mum asks for your help

there is a funeral to attend

for a broken boy who's life

you couldn't mend

if mum says she wants red roses

of the fcking white one

tell her i want black roses

and to be buried with a gun

if she wants to dress me up

in the white dress she bought

get my used top and denim

in white i wont be caught

if she cries at the alter

help her to her seat

her heart is now broken

will she ever find her feet

if they sing the fcking church songs

that never made sense to me

go get skillet, or my chemical romance

the real me they will all see

if they go on and on

about everything i used to be

tell em to get fcked

cause they never knew me

if they ask why i have scars

tell em i couldn't cope

let em know there is almost 200

cause i ran out of hope

if you dream of me

of what i did that night

don't worry you'll never know

cause you wont get it right

if you think about my death

you cut the fck out of yourself

you lock yourself

upit's not good for your health

if you wonder what went through my mind

as the blade went across

it was all of you my angel

and all of the loss

if you think you could have saved me

stopped me before i went to far

helped me on my feet

caught a falling star

if you say you still love me

ars to your eyes

remember I'm still in your ear

and that will stop your cries

know i love you too

and I'll always be in your heart

I'll always be with you

if one day you remember my face

and it brings tears

Lucifer's song

2007-09-04T00:33:00.000-07:00

Seductive melody is invoking,calling out for dance

bloody moon's the ruler of the night

Stars cherish, like reminders on darkened scars

left to testify above the horrid minds.

Sanguinary angels forgotten, now they fade

the demons are whispering chaotic prayers,

darkened flames of the emotions cremate every thought

as entwined liquid stars sing Lucifer's song.

Fallen Gods lustfully raging afore Creators dagger

the symbol of Lucifer's victory, the descant of blackness;

broken Sun slowly dieing while eternity bleeds

the dreams of lost shouts on the world are descend.

2007-09-04T00:18:00.000-07:00

“Come one, come all, if you dare! Enter this house of unimaginable fear. Come inside and behold the horror! Your hidden evils revealed through the mirror…”

Three little children, not a single taint. Innocent little dears, blind to their fate. One is tall, one is short, the third is-odd of a sort. One is happy, one is sad, one never showed emotions as a lad.

The evil clown entices them in, “come inside this haunted den. Inside you’ll find only what’s hidden, deep in your soul, from others forbidden.”

Three little children, not a single taint. Innocent little dears, blind to their fate. Two are boys, one is female. She likes movies, music, and sea shells. She’s always looked up to both of her brothers-well that goes without saying because obviously they’re taller.

“Are you ready to enter this den of death? You’ll perish for sure, like all of the rest. Go in and find the path, it’ll lead you to be found,” tempted the ghoulish sadistic evil looking clown.

Three little children, not a single taint. Innocent little dears, blind to their fate. They go into the place of evil intent, to find the center which the clown hath sent. Walking silently, drowning in fear, they finally discover the center…and the mirror.

“Look inside it, and be consumed. It will surely reveal your perishing doom.” Echoed the words of the evil clown, nothing else was heard-not a single sound.

Three little children, not a single taint. Innocent little dears, blind to their fate. The oldest child sadly depressed in his heart, looked into the mirror first, and screamed with a start. The middle child next, looked into the mirror; he gave no reaction, not a glimpse of fear. The youngest stepped up, but quickly looked away, the nightmare she saw-she never would say.

The evil clown lets out a hideous chuckle, and begins to stretch and crack his knuckles. “My job is done, I know they had fun. One decides to shoot himself with a gun. One starts to party and break all the rules; he drowns himself one night while out on a cruise. The little one…her fate is unclear! Could she be the one I saw in the mirror?”

One little girl, who accepts her fate. Slaughters the clown with all of her hate. Because her brothers had seen their deaths, it ultimately led them to fulfill their quests. Perhaps not knowing how life ends is what keeps it going for all of her friends. No more deaths would this clown reveal. She killed him that night and destroyed the mirror.

2007-08-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

The sadness brings the clouds down low

and raindrops to the sky

the darkness streaks the start of night

and tears fallen from their eyes.

The hardwood coffin bears my name

and date of death so told

Inside's my broken body

Dead and chilled with cold

I'm carried down to earthy grave

Upon the shoulders of my friends

The blood still seeping through the cracks

As they walk another bend

Lower me into the ground

The thud of clay to wood

My shaking hands scratched off my skin

I'd call out if I could

My breath is shallow and hard pressed

Soon I'll be out of air

The poison paralysed my heart

Don't do this, it's not fair

Above ground flowers on my grave

They're dead and without love

My headstone's a small angel

Choking the life from a dove

I'm fading, giving up my hope

Relax, my time has come

Remember though when you are judged

He will know what you've done

"you know what you have done..................beacause its only you and me knows what you have done
there will be a day..yes one single day all I need
and I promise that day I will take away all your greed"

"like being in love , to feel, for the first time"

2007-08-20T22:25:00.000-07:00

"we're both looking for something we've been afraid to find."
For once in my life,I'm scared to death.

may be I'm wrong,I'm feeling right.

like being in love, to feel, for the first time.

Tear drops splatter on my favourite guitar,As i sit here

dreamin,wondering,how you are.

your voice is the melody of my favorite song:

the lyrics help to guide through what is right and wrong.

we're riding phone lines,just to see what we can find.

wondering if my head is right;

you're the image that comes to mind

Past mistakes just melt away;

the heartbreak isn't spoken-

No one dwells on times when we were lost or broken.

So release all inhibitions;

let's just free our minds;

"we're both looking for something we've been afraid to find."

It took us too long to realize that what held was true.

How could it be anything else?

All I can see is you

Sure, there may be distances-but we're not that far apart.

May be just in miles,but never in our hearts.

So lets take a plunge and we'll hold our breath.

I'm not afraid to admit that I'm scared half to death.

But i know I'll have you to hold my hand through it all,

and i know that you would catch me,if I began to fall.

So jump in here we go, as I'm holding my breath,

For once in my life,I'm scared to death.

"you tell me mthat I'm on your mind-

well you're that's all in my head,

I smile with all the memories;

I laugh at the jokes you said.

your kisses felt like thunder,I got lightning in my veins,

Cure to all my pain.

Never have I known something can be so right.

I would never you up without putting up a fight.

Some tell me I am crazy,they don't know how I feel.

while the rest if the world is fake,you are the who's real.

So just stay here, with me and let us save tonight.

may be I'm wrong,I'm feeling right.

So we'll ride these phone lines, hoping for that day,

The day when we can finally do what we always say

And i know that soon, it'll finally be our time.

So keep me in your heart cause I could never let you go.

i just keep telling you that , make sure you know

Its amazing how i feel, i hope that you dont mind.

"like being in love , to feel, for the first time"

Who are we

2007-08-18T08:05:00.000-07:00

Great Times of Depression
Changing to ones of great Succession
Learning from our mistakes
Knowing that there is no retakes

Our Adolescent Misbehavior
To questioning our savior
From our birth to our death
All in a quick breathe

This is Life

The feeling of great desire
The fuel for your inner fireT
he emptiness inside
When emotions collide

Dropping everything for a single cause
Knowing they’re the one without a pause
Being there for those you need
Watching the caged become freed

This is Love

Seeing your partner leave
For another person on Christmas Eve
Feeling the stress increase
As we cry for the deceased

The nervousness and fear
When our friends are scared
Being surprised at an occasion
And laughing at our humiliation

This is emotion

Being able to fly
And never fearing to die
Not knowing our fear
With eyes dry from lack of tears

Never knowing any pain
Just the sweetness of a sugar cane
Leaving home without a care
Just to do what you would never dare

This is Dreaming

Living your life obeying the law
While criminals make cities turn raw
Always holding your hopes up high
When deep down you want to break down and cry

Questioning everything we do
To what scientists really try and prove
Knowing only what we’re told
Wondering why the world is so cold

This is Reality

Spending our lives looking for
What’s behind that hidden door
The meaning of lifeCovered by strife

You wonder about it every night
Just for it you put up your fight
It’s covered with all sorts of lies
And those who realize always die

This is Truth

Sharing all you know
To trusting a foeLending out your soul
Just to reach your goal
Going through hell to leave
To do what you believe
Having hope for oneself
And trusting yourself

This is Faith

What this is, is a great composition
Of what makes up our disposition
We feel what we do
And question what we once knew
We give our tears to our pain
Only to have it washed away in the rain
We are taught to question
Then punished for the answer we mention

We are told to believe
Even when we see the world indulging in greed
We watch time go byWe are born to die

This is who we are

2007-08-17T02:12:00.000-07:00

If I died would you care?
I mean, what if I was no longer there?

Would the world suddenly end?
Would you mourn me my friend?

Would you feel such deep sorrow,
That you'd care not of tomorrow?

Would you somehow honour me?
Could that set your conscience free?

Would people I hardly knew suddenly claim to have been my close friend?
Would they pledge their assistance to the cold, and bitter end?

Could you survive without me?
Move on and just be?

How many people would attend my funeral service?
Would the chapel be full and the eulogizer nervous?

Who would deliver that eulogy?
Would they say wonderful things about me?

As my corpse lay at the front of the hall
Would some be planning their afternoon at the mall?

What would become of my family?
All those who have grown to rely upon me.

Would the show of support be overwhelming at first?
But slowly diminish once they get through the worst?

I would be gone, simply not here.
They'd be alone to fight through the heartache and fear.

So what if I died right here on the spot?
Trying to finish a poem but this was as far as I got.

Would I be able to write the rest in my head?
Or would I just be gone, cold, and simply put, dead.

The world would continue along without me
Others now being where I used to be.

At first my presence would still seem so strong
But then slowly diminish as they all move along

Of course they'd talk and say, "Remember him?"
But over time these occurrences would grow increasingly slim.

Simply forgotten as time wastes away
My existence more vanished with each passing day

The more that I ask, the better I see
This question is not for you, it's more just for me.

So I'll rephrase and make it concise
No sugar coating to make it sound nice

If I died, why should I care?
It would simply just mean that I'm no longer there.

retrospection

2007-08-16T00:45:00.001-07:00

Locked, Into deep retrospectionHind sight blinding, Interjection,Of my life,

My future waiting, of My soul,
My heart still waning.Tossed about,

Mind like stoneEvery thought thun’k, thun’k alone.
Unrequited, Dear hopes and dreams,
Since childhood, locked, Blocked byScreens.

Tasteless, frivolous, batteredReflection,
Still interrupted by livid transgression.

Captured, Mist of disarray,
Every thought pondered, caught today.
Limited by my own minds wallsSkewed by my own voices calls.

Simmering moon,
Twinkling stars,
Blood caught behind blinding bars.

Autumn moon,
In all her Glory,
Watch me over;
tell my story.Sitting here, View aghast,
asInterjection, transgress my past.

2007-08-07T09:25:00.000-07:00

A Date With Death
Inside the old church,
You lit a smoke and sipped your flask.
"Have You Ever Died?"
With dead-serious eyes, you asked,
With a little laugh
To make it like you were joking.
Yeah, you were breath-taking;
You left me Gasping and Choking.

This cemetery Gets a little warmer at night.
You, me, and bottles Of Bourbon and Formaldehyde;
The mix was toxic.
You were Blurry,I was Confused
And drunk on all the lies
You tried to make sound like the truth.

We're in a Sandbox.
You're giving off Good Vibrations,
The kind that rock worlds,
Tear through schools and police stations,
and fire houses, Hospitals and the happy homes
Of neutered house-trained dogs
With backyards full of buried bones.

On a Date with Death,
And I've never felt so alive.
Her crooked smile
Makes my heart burn up my insides.
he is hot as Hell,
With horns and a lovely forked tongue
he's a devil, And he's as Evil as they come

On a Date with Death,
Painting the town blood-red for laughs.
"Have You Ever Died?"
he knew the truth before i asked

2007-08-07T09:08:00.000-07:00

She wants to be loved
She wants to be cared for
She wants a friend
who wont judge her

She wants to be pretty
She wants to be smart
She wants a boy
who would love and respect her
for who she is

She was so strong yet sensitive
She was so perfect yet flawed
She was so happy yet sad
She laughed yet
she cried inside
She had friends yet she was alone

2007-08-06T08:24:00.000-07:00

its raining today
feel like going for a walk
want to feel the rain touching me and her
the cold breeze,the falling leaves
we hold our hands and start walking
the water running down and getting collected between our fingers
giving birth to a new one
wet clothes becoming our skin and the warm breath of ours
i look into her eyes and she gaze deep into mine
she moves her hand on my face
her tender fingers,squezzing my lips
my tongue slurping the rain water from her fingers.
I ask do you know what i beleive?????????
she gives me an innocent look and say no....
I say babes you are my EVE
she wraps herself around me and now there is nothing in between
the lights are turning into nights
its pitch dark and both are feeling each other
and all of a sudden there is a thunder strike
our eyes meet and what i see is the wilderness in her eyes
and the mouth wide open, hands pulling me closer to herself
she's tryingg to take me in
her hands careses my skin and chiver run down my spine
feel like sitting on a electric chair
going to be dead but the moment feel like
living in more than thousands years
she hold my hand and dragged me inside
our heaven,our house and then the
drapes fall and with its our covers
there she is in front of me or I am in front of her
she is like a warrior princess athena
with sensuality like venus
she comes close to me
pouring herself on me
I hold her,brace her back
she started gasping for breath
i lay her down,exerting my preasure on her
and feel the feature on my fingers
i embrace her beauty
she pulls me closer with her arms and
I lean over her and she supports me with her love
now she rocks back and forth.
she slows down,her hands getting burried inside my flesh

A place in Heaven for the Fallen

2007-07-29T08:53:00.000-07:00

The night embraced the sleepy city yet again,The moon shines silvery upon this world of men.He kneeled before the cross of God – prayingFor his disease to go away, but he was not complaining.His fever was up high and he had hallucinationsAll the shadows in the room seemed like devilish temptationsAnd the air was harder to breathe, his heart was racing,But he was heroically fighting with the sickness he was facing.The wind was blowing cold putting out the shimmer candle lightAs a mistress’s silhouette walked in his room making him fright.“Who are you?” he said – his voice trembling with insecurity,But the woman didn’t answer mesmerized by his untouched purity.

Suddenly the room went cold and he felt shivers down his spine“I have come to release you from your pain and make you mine”The mistress now replied and within a second she was standing by his bed“Go away! Leave me alone!” was all that he could have said.

She paid no attention to his words and she got closer to his face“Have trust in me, my dear, and let us share eternity’s grace”And she gently kissed his neck searching cautiously for a veinTo push her fangs within it quickly so there’ll be no pain.

Before he knew what was going on his heart had stopped beating,She turned him into her kind and prepared him for fleeting Away from that place where sickness seemed at home –He was now in the arms of the undead thrown…

Many days had passed since his sudden transformationHe was now unwillingly darkness’s creation.He did not want to live forever in the gloomy nightAnd his mistress’s presence was not wanted in his sight.

Feeding with the blood of the humans that were once his kindWas something outrageous that could not be assimilated by his mind,From the start, he did not want to be part of this so called life;This was not as the woman had planned – she was now in strife.

One night he ran away finding shelter underneath a tree“I do not wish to be undead – this is not the real me!God where are you? Please release me from all of this And may that fiendish woman burn in Hell along with her mortal kiss!”

His body was weak for he didn’t feed since he was madeAs he hoped that hunger will help him faster to fadeAnd when he felt like he was left alone, abandoned by allExquisite white angels surrounded him for they heard his desperate call.

Their faces bared no signs of hate; their eyes were filled with loveAmidst doves and divine rays of the purest light sent from above.“Come, child, don’t be afraid! Father sent us to bring you in our paradise”“But I am a fallen one…” he said with crimson tears in his eyes.

“You did not cope with the creature in which you were transformed,You still strived to be human and you wanted your heart adornedWith the purity that you still keep buried deep inside your coreAnd so you are now as welcomed to our Heaven as you were before.”

He remained astonished by the angel’s words and soHe got up from the muddy ground and felt ready to go.The angles took him in their arms and they rose in God’s empireWhere darkness never reigns and peace burns bright like fire.

Hypnotic Eyes*********

2007-07-24T00:37:00.000-07:00

Her eyes are so hypnotic carefully plotting what she'll do caught in this web of love ...

not sure what to do next"you always want what you cant have," they say

she laughs at their ignorance

she'll do what she has to do

she wont get hurt again

ready to accept finite disappointment

No more sobbing or cryingshe'll stand strong

wont let people know what's inside

keeping a stiff upper lip...

and find it damn hard to smile

CORPSE

2007-07-24T00:28:00.000-07:00

Preying into the night for withered bodies of deaths grace,Stalking into the darkness the strong scent of burning flesh,While watching upon the rivers of bleak mis fortunate souls,Are sinners of catastrophe waiting for a scarlet fire to burn?As the smoke rises into the sky, people watch with concern,For these animals seek food, food which they so badly yearnAs they crouch silently beneath tree branches of whispers,Shadows begin to emerge while they run into dark rivers.Like tigers hunting prey, they drag their food from murkey waters,Onto the shores as they begin to unravel bodies like starving beasts,Cries delude the night while these eager animals feast,Fighting over bones while ripping apart the human chests,As the porcelain moon of a bright glow begins to suddenly rise,Unexpectedly across merciful skies. They flee into the jungle;howling vicious like wolfs into the darkened night of lost hope,Hidden in the mist until these cannibals faces are revealed again.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::DEATH:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

2007-07-20T01:50:00.000-07:00

"Death!!!"
It will be with you every breath,till your last breath"
the most natural thing for man,the breed we known as a "homo.sapiens" is Death.As we know it inevitable.It has to come and it will come.As a physical fact,death is easily understood.It is departure of the life force from the body.What has animated a handful of earth as it were,is gone.What is left is dross.Is that the end of "MAN"

What is man? How did he come to be. Who created him and

Who is the"CREATOR".

What should be the relationship between him and his "CREATOR".

Animal do not ask these question question;

Man the thinking animal,does. Man is not satisfied with loving without knowing.

As said by "Brahma"
" Naham manye suvediti no na vediti vedacha" means
I think i not that i know him well, or that i know him,or even that i know him not.

"What the most wonderful fact in the world" asked by the "YAKSHA"
'O yaksha', "We see our fellow beings dying around us every moment and yet the living think they never will die.That, surely,is the most wonderful fact of all!"
Said by "YUDHISHITIRA".

Death holds terror to many,for variety of reasons;facing death come hardest for those who linger in bed but for it is unknown cause for anxiety and misery. I want to know the answer,instead of wondering why?The only thing that is true in this world is death,for some its the "beginning" and for some "its the end" its a topic that is being debated from the beginning and it will go on till eternity;;;;;;;

The chasm of death only obstructs our view.Our sorrow due to our foolish refusal to see and believe that what comes next is self existent,unborn and not subject to change death and decay.Life is like a manuscript,one can search for missing pages. Who am i? From where i have come and what the purpose of life? You are here because you were somewhere else.You move from the known to the unknown,from visible to invisible and from the seen to the unseen. No human being can live without doing karma but when he performs the "Karmas" he has to reap the fruits.If we learn to reduce all our desires to a point zero,all our motivations will be over and there will be no karma.There will be no Bondage and the human being will not be in a bonds for the fruits of his 'Karma'.Attachments seems to be the mother of all miseries.

"The wise one" said YAMA,"Is neither born,nor does he die.He is unborn,constant,eternal,primeval".

Why "GOD",if there is a "GOD",in His infinite grace does not spare the soul its endless birth and the deaths and gives it peace is not, again, explained in any meaningful way . Why having created a soul, should "GOD" turn it over to a treadmill-like future? Why should "GOD" create man and then endow him with senses and tell him not in the "Gratification of the senses, but in his disciplining them,lies Salvation."

For action without detachment has its inevitable effects.This is the law of karma. According to the principle of Karma,there is nothing uncertain or capricious in the moral world. We reap what we sow. Action and reaction are equal and opposite which is the same as the second law of dynamics. In that sense,every little action-any action-has its effect. When does that effect, reaction, as it were , cease to operate? With death?

There cannot be any carryover for the simple reason that there is no future life. But if there is future life, if the soul is indeed reborn, if the chain of life-death-life continues without end, then it is possible to assert that whatever we do in our present life will have its natural and inevitable repercussion in a later life and that the only way in which to stay the reaction is to reduce the chances of reaction to zero.

and the debate stiillllllllll goes on...........................

"Life is ecstasy and Death is eternity"

::::::::::::::::::::::DRAGON'S BREATH ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

2007-07-18T21:24:00.003-07:00

'It might be our last day', they mockingly say,not believing the words they were just so quick to say.That left a terrible picture in my pessimistic head.They laugh with joy as the dragons smoke deteriorates my lungs leaving me speechless,yet undead.I grin as the black night turns red,as they look into my eyes deteriorating not their lungs,but their spirits inside.So much unexplainable love overflows from the God given fountain,that they come to drink so frequently out of.It never stops flowing,I must keep those smiles going,its my dream that Im now finally living.So drink and be merry, and go on in glee,get drunk off of the love Im terrifyingly giving.The music from the mysterious pitremind me of the clock that ticksthis time away,and yet at the same time the clock wont stop reminding methat the music and this time of adolescence is still playing my way.Maybe if I take just a little sip of that poisonIll be better kept,maybe if I took a little puff of that acid Ill forgetall those days I regretfully wept. Im only kidding,I wouldnt be caught in such acts,but that doesnt mean my mind didnt stop to think ofthe possibilities and deceiving power in such habits as that.Where has this innocent world of ours gone?I wonder if the spiritual battle of ours will be won?Though those bags below your beautiful eyessink a little lower,and though your feelings progress just that much slower,my mothers lullaby now sings me to peaceful sleep,with even more hope then ever of this war not ending in defeat.I go on now with the smile in my eyes reaching its peak,even though I look at your imperfectness for the first time clearly.Now that is a miracle from above,against all odds,Im happy with an even better chance at love

2007-07-13T01:31:00.000-07:00

Now there is nothing to hide

mermaid and rebel are going to fight

now there wont be the obnoxious feeling of surving

but they will be living

I know she love me

same way,the way

the mountain love the misty clouds

where the sun tries to come in between

but the love is so pure and clean

the same way you love your loved

ones in your dreams

where you will do anything

bcoz thats your world

"I love you"is the word

thats keep them alive

love had made a simple guy

into a martyr

with so much of ecstatic eternal energy

running down in the veins

and love is all over you

from your heart to brain

just think and hear the bell

and see them together

one the god's angel

and the Lucifer's son

and this time there wont be a run

the best from both the world
mermaid from heaven
and Lucifer's hell

yes,there was something wrong
but feel good,when I see her strong
there won't be anymore cries
it will be either
"we live or he dies"

but why should we die
they are together to fly
tell me why? always the god people suffer's
why not others
yes,I am not talking about me
God! he is not in my wildest dream

Hey God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
don't give me that sterns expressions
I know how to get my salvation
you and me dont have any connection
tell me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what's your desperation
its my agitation
why you want me in your space
you know na nah....................
I dont like your face

The final declaration
why you want everybody down on your leg
why you want them to beg
I think about you and only one thing
I can do is Laugh
In my mind there is only one sentence
It's feel like you also "DOUBT"
Your own "EXISTENCE"

/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/..........." Pure Darkness"............/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/

2007-07-08T01:23:00.001-07:00

My pain is something you can not see,
it is all I see from inside of me,
my horrors are behind my eyes,
as you all want me to die.

I see things people aren't meant to see,
run away and flee,
I don't blame you for doing this,
and blood flows from my wrist.

People think I a total freak,
and pains are at their peak,
I stand in this world,
alone in an everlasting twirl.

Alone standing in the rain,
as you look into my eyes and see my pain,
you don't nothing just tear me apart,
just like my heart.

No one helps me in this place,
as you look at my pale face,
mangled and torn,
my darkness is born.

As you see the dark sky,
and soon to say good bye,
say hello to my fate,
as I am locked behind black metal gates.

With all my pain next to me,
why can't you all see,
shed some light,
it might help me fight.

The darkness surrounding my soul,
as you see a skull pole.
Welcome to my end,
and let my heart to be mend.

Let me be free,
just let me,
I want to be out of the mud,
and no more blood.

GOD--------VS--------LUCIFER**

2007-07-04T06:59:00.000-07:00

its under construction i am just collecting the pics

* Controversial _______Maniac*****

2007-07-04T05:50:00.000-07:00

"Controversies"
why its me,who have to see
even i wants to be free
Ok! Tell me what you want me to be

All my childhood I have seen violence
still I always kept my silence,
surrounded by "Maniac"
How you want me to Act?
why you made me like this,
There was a time I belive in your presence
but after all that shit,I started questioning your existence,
now I dont agree
so you called me a "Nazi"

What's my education
I am a boy in transformation
becoming a "rebel" and
waiting for my "revolution"

God! bless my mother and grandmother
give all the pain to me,
not to other...
I remember the first time I was beaten by my Father
It was not my fault ,
but noone bother.........

I was born and brought up by anger and rage
always felt like I am in a "Cage"
my parents never understand me
so they dont know how to raise me ????????.......................
and thats why they labelled me as a "Crazy"
there was lot of thing that I lack......
and I always feel someone is on my back
and why the "FUCK" I should justify!!!!!!!!!
May be thats why
they called me a "Maniac"
and I lost the track

This is the 21st century,full of fury..
There are lot of people like me
there are lot of thing we like to see,
even "Maniac" like me, want "peace"!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you guys ever look in our face
this fucking world is going in a diffrent pace
there will be a day,when there will not be
a single human trace......

Come sit and talk to me
all Maniac came and see
Now I am sitting alone with a glittering knife
just thinking of taking my life
But wait!!!!!!!
why should i do that?????????
its not my fault,thats a fact

So, I am thinking whta to do
because its not me,then its must be "you"
You know how much I loved you
You ripped me to my bone marrow
and I am a "maniac" not a "Pharaoh"

I am disciple of "Lucifer"
No,he is not a Devil
He is the angel who fell
to become the ruler of "Hell"
He is the one who is fallen from heaven
and He is the "son of Dawn"
and he haven't done anything wrong
the name "Lucifer"
are made of two words
"Lux" and "Ferre"
means "light" and "to bear"
So it means bearer of the light
So he pay more attention in the night

People ignored me I dont like it
and none listens to me,
Now I dont tries to find it
I dont go back home,
It dont mean shit
Its feel like yesterday,
Whenever I think of that
So,What I am?????????
Whats the "Fact"!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes,I belive all you will say
is a "CONTROVERSIAL MANIAC"

and the controversy still continues !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rebel........Mermaid

2007-06-29T23:20:00.000-07:00

She called him Rebel...Rebel, a guy of radical thoughts,

A simple boy with innocent heartbut this world torn him apart....

He always felt he is in a cell,living in this world HYPOCRATICAL world..

Believe me, it’s not better than "Hell"

He lives in seductive nights......and sleep in lightning days....

"Vampire" yes this is the word,what people say.

He loves the sensual light of night,and hate the rays of sun that he throws in days...

He called her mermaid....

He finds melancholy in her,

Shiva and Prophet in her

She can see the Carpenter,

She dances with the Krishna.

She said she is the missed breath of mine

I believe she is the radical bend inside ,

She wants to be the burial ground of my fears

I believe she is the only one with whom I can share my tears.

One day they meet,

She loves "God" and he likes "Lucifer"

She is melancholy of night...

She is the innocence of a young girl,

sitting in the fear of the one who comes at night

And he is fascinated by death

he is people of the dark,notorious and innocent by heart envied are we,

who were here from the startChaos, blood and misery is his mark

A meeting of love
Far away from the din
As the eyes see each other

And they see no sin...

This my tribute to my Dad,i know he loves me,I am really very sorry Dad.

2007-06-08T01:32:00.000-07:00

If we understand these lines I belive our life will be so simple;

“If someone doesn’t love us the way we want to,

Doesn’t mean that they haven’t loved us with all they have got”

And I felt that yesterday,when my mom told me that my dadWas upset because of me I was feeling so guilty.These emotions are so complex.

I wrote these lines and this is my way of saying sorry Dad……..

I am really very sorry Dad
My actions make you sad;
I understand that,
But this fucking life never gave me what I had.
I know sometime the monster
Comes out that inside of me;

I don’t want that,
But noone belive me.
Honestly I love you
That all I want you to knew;
It is your shadows under which I grew,
I know I am stupid and idiot.
However I don’t want you to cry
That will be the thing I will never try;
I am really very sorry Dad,
Because of me you are sad.
I love you and now you smile
And for that I will go any mile;
I am really very sorry dad,
I know you are the only thing I had.
Now I promise
I will be wise;
The way you want me to be.
Remember ,when I was kid,
You used to get angry on me
When I used to do something wrong.
Still remember that time………..
Those are the memories that only mine.
All I want you to trust……
I wont give up,
I will make you proud.
There will be a day;
When you will stand up and say.
That’s my son………that’s my son;
I am really very sorry Dad,
I promise wont make you sad…………..

Seduction................"hope the one will be always in mood.............and hope that i dont have to wait for too long.....but yes i can wait"

2007-05-22T23:44:00.000-07:00

Rain falls in sheets
from the dark gray clouds
leaden with moisture
ready to fall to the groaned.

The wind is howling
as it pushes the rain
toward a small house.
Full of sweet love.

Lightning flashes outside.
Lighting up the dark room
but the two lovers don't notice.
There to wrapped up in each other.

He kisses her gently
wrapping his arms around her.
Gradually taking the kiss deeper
as he runs his hand down her body.

The explore each others bodies
slowly, gently so that
flashes of sensations
temporally block all else out.

The atmosphere is electric.
You could feel it everywhere
and the air has grown thick
with love and passion.

While the storm rages on
just out side there window.
One just as strong screams
to be set free to grow.

Why should i stay?

2007-05-19T05:01:00.000-07:00

Why should I stay alive when there is nothing to live for? Why should I breathe when there is no air to breathe? Why should I cry? Why should I laugh? Why should I forgive? Why should I forgive when no-one deserves it? I sit in my room thinking, dreaming, wanting to know why should I stay alive. Finding the meaning why. Every-time I here your voice, every time I feel your touch my body shivers with Chiles. it was you who made my life miserable. It was you who made me forget myself, my childhood. Who made me lose my life. I could never become something or someone special. I could never be strong enough to face up to myself; I wish I could be strong enough to face my fear, the fear of standing up to you. The fear of wanting to feel life. The fear of loving you. why should I stay alive when there is nothing to live for? Why should I breath when there is no air? Why should I cry? All these questions lead to you. should I live? Do you have the courage to look me into the eyes and tell me the truth? My love if you can, then why dont you?

This is only the beggining

2007-05-19T04:42:00.000-07:00

We walk around trying to figure out why we're here.What's our purpose on this Earth?But why?We make fun of people.But why?Is it because their less fortunate than us.Or maybe we think we're just so much better than them.Or is there some level of greatness that they can't live up to.But why?There's so much anger is this world.But why?We walk around wishing we could change the past.But why?You caused it in the first place.If it wasn't for your stupid actions then it never would've happened.But maybe I'm wrong.I don't know.Besides I'm just one person.I can't do anything.I ain't nobody.But I just want to know.I just want to understand.I want to make everything better.How can you stand it?Oh well,I guess I'll never know...

without you

2007-05-19T04:28:00.000-07:00

I don't want to fight when things go wrong I don't want to feel I don't belong Just wrap me in your arms, tight embrace Gently wipe the tears from my face When we fight Like we did last night It puts things into view I don't want to live without you Gently brush your lips against mine Make me leave the past behind Take my hand inside your hand And help me to understand I don't want to fight when things go wrong I don't want to feel I don't belong Just wrap me in your arms, tight embrace Gently wipe the tears from my face I would rather the heavens take me Than for you to forsake me Blowing my smoke to the clear blue sky I would pray the Lord let me die We have been together for so long That without you I could not go on I love you more now than I did then And if I had to I would do it all again I don't want to fight when things go wrong I don't want to feel I don't belong Just wrap me in your arms, tight embrace Gently wipe the tears from my face

Prisoner of my own love

2007-05-19T04:05:00.000-07:00

I'm a prisoner of war. Prisoner of my own love. To my heart I swore. I have an angel watching above. Whispering within the air, Where I thought I heard no sound. To this day I swear, By white wings I was found. The eyes they had stole, Tell me I am wrong. I feel angels touch my soul, "Don't worry, it wont be long." This heart had collided, Into a concrete wall. No battle is ever one sided. These angels wont let me fall. I thought the world was empty. That no angels lived in this place. Suddenly they showed me, When I looked up at your face. I'm a prisoner of war. Prisoner of my own love. To my heart I swore. I have an angel watching above.

straight from my heart

2007-05-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

I once heard a story straight from the heart
About a girl and how her world began to fall apart
It all started when she met the boy that made her life complete
Just thinking of him made her heart skip a beat
They were the couple everyone wanted to be
There were no imperfections as either one could see
As the weeks passed they fell more in love and were less aware
Of how often life turns out to be unfair
Until one day she finally gave in
She realized there was no way she could win
She said I'm sorry but i have to let you go
As he reached for her hand she pulled away whispering no
When she turned around a tear slid down her cheek
He just stood there speechless, forgetting how to speak
The next few days were the hardest at home
She truly felt she was all alone
Her mom pushed in her face how she had won
Her dad said "i knew he was just another one"
Her sister said "come on you'll be ok"
And her brother just tried to stay away
At school it was like her friends weren't even there
None of them seemed to really care
Her life had no more color, just black and white
Even getting out of bed turned into a fight
Despite their tries things just weren't like before
Then he decided "i don't wanna try anymore"
At that she tried to cut him out
But the more she ignored him the more her feelings began to shout
When she saw him that day she could no longer just walk by
And before she knew it her mouth opened up and out came "hi"
He looked up and said "so now we're talking?"
She just smiled and join his walking
Everyday they talked a little more
And everyday she began to like him a little less then before
As the months passed by she became more and more aware
About how its ok life's unfair
Because eventually everything becomes your past
But your memories will always last
And with that i hope you see
Not all love is meant to be
But hold on and don't give in
Stand tall, hold up your chin
And believe me when i say
The right one will come one day
He'll open your eyes to things you couldn't ever see
I know this because..this is a story all about me...

nightmares

2007-05-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

Running down a dark alley
At the End there will be Light
Doesn't someone see me?
Does no one know of this Fight?
Nightmares...

Jumping of the highest mountain
Feeling the energy surround me
Energy of a red fountain
Death everywhere I can see
Nightmares...

My soul and body ripped apart
My thoughts going there own way
A dangerous piece of art
Somebody please take me away
Nightmares...

Locked up in a room without Light
Screaming without sound
Seeing without sight
The exit will never be found
Nightmares...

Waking up, screaming
In front of the face of my fears
Telling me I wasn't dreaming
My last scream which no one hears
Nightmares...

I am guilty

2007-05-18T09:30:00.000-07:00

I need to be held, held like you mean it
I long for the embrace
The embrace of your loving arms around me
I need to feel you holding me

Kiss me
I need to be kissed, gently and teasingly
I want to feel your lips touching my skin
Look into my eyes and kiss me

I need to be touched; I need to be taken
Touch me, Gently caress me
Take me; I belong to you
My body longs for your touch

Does this come across as selfish?
Do you think I am being greedy?
If wanting more of your love is a sin
Then I am guilty

But this is not just for me
All that I wish for
I want to offer in return
Nothing to hide; nothing to fear

I am looking for your desire
Do you desire me?
I am longing for fulfillment
Will you make me content?
I am growing desperate
Will you rescue me?

opposite of two-lonely me and lonely you

Paradoxical Heaven

For Immediate Release

Tragedy

Übermensch

Rebel

To Misery....My Love

The Night

I am the forgotten One

You win

Revenge

LOVE LETTER

My Grave

I am afraid

Sticky Chains

Running Insane

God vs lucifer

Writer

Together

strength

Lucifer's song

"like being in love , to feel, for the first time"

Who are we

retrospection

A place in Heaven for the Fallen

****************Hypnotic Eyes*************************

CORPSE

::::::::::::::::::::::::::DEATH:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

::::::::::::::::::::::DRAGON'S BREATH ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/..........." Pure Darkness"............/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/;/

********** GOD--------VS--------LUCIFER************

******* Controversial _______Maniac***********

Rebel........Mermaid

This my tribute to my Dad,i know he loves me,I am really very sorry Dad.

Seduction................"hope the one will be always in mood.............and hope that i dont have to wait for too long.....but yes i can wait"

Why should i stay?

This is only the beggining

without you

Prisoner of my own love

straight from my heart

nightmares

I am guilty

Hypnotic Eyes*********

GOD--------VS--------LUCIFER**

* Controversial _______Maniac*****